Skip to main content

Growing pains

I am getting older. This is how I know:

1. On my walk to work, I pass teenage girls in their school uniforms without coats on. I, in contrast, am swaddled from the elements by seventeen layers of wool and sheepskin. I am not too cool for a coat, and no longer feel the need to roll my eyes and tell my mum to fuck off should she suggest I wear one.

2. After a recent spate of birthdays, most of my friends are now on the wrong side of 26.

3. I am almost on the wrong side of 26 and am still waiting for a kidney.

4. I actively look forward to getting into bed and wiling away the final half hour before sleepy-time doing the Evening Standard Crossword.

5. I no longer feel it necessary to stay in a relationship that I feel is redundant.

6. I no longer feel it necessary to sleep with anything male/under 35/breathing in order to validate myself/get a bed for the night/rack up my numbers/ensure I have an archive of funny anecdotes.

7. My friends don't live down the road anymore. In fact, many of them have defected to other countries: Anna is in Dubai, Fiona is in the Cayman Islands (NB: the running theme of tax avoision...) and Joanne is due to move back up to Newcastle which, admittedly, is in the UK, but may as well not be, since I have become accustomed to her living a mere eight minutes walk from my front door. Selfishly, they have all decided to go before I have had a transplant and therefore cannot have a free holid...I mean, go and visit them.

Do I envy those freezing schoolgirls, huddled in their tight cliques for warmth, and friendship? Yes and no. I have incredible friends still residing in London, but I desperately miss those on distant shores; how wonderful it would be to somehow recreate the university experience of never being more than moments away from their embrace. Yet I am overcome with pride and delight at the incredible experience they have bravely sought, and air miles is the price you pay. I suppose it is an inevitability that in growing up, we grow apart; not emotionally, we hope, but geographically, logistically. Soon we shall start to marry (Andrea already has, in exquisite style) and start families of our own, widening the gap ever more. I fear for my own capacity to keep up in this respect, what with my penchant for the single life (my love of crosswords and pyjamas doesn't help) and negligible ability to procreate...all I can do is hope that whatever path my friends and I choose to travel, we never lose sight of one another.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Postscript

You wouldn't believe where I am. You could guess, if you've seen the gratuitous images of my self-satisfied gurning face in front of an infinity pool on Facebook...otherwise you might find it hard to imagine the paradise in which I currently find myself. I am in Dubai. Bar Abby Clancey and the cast of TOWIE, is is not everyone's idea of paradise - it actually wasn't mine. It is exciting, exotic and fucking hot, but the skyscrapers and traffic, the desert and cultural  deficiency (not to mention the chavs that clutter up the Ritz Carlton these days, I mean honestly...) suggest you'd be hard-pushed to call it paradise. It is vaulted to utopian heights simply because, four-months after the transplant, I am here. My nearest and dearest suffered for seven years as I dreamily aired my wanderlust. Yet the reward of a post-transplant holiday seemed too extravagant a prize for which to yearn - wasn't a life free from dialysis enough? Wasn't having a drink when t...

The nights are closing in

The final step of my home dialysis journey (bleugh, journey...sounds like I'm on The X Factor) begins on the 22nd July when Nurse Carla will arrive with a sleeping bag and, presumably, some strong coffee, and sit on my sofa all night whilst I perform my first nocturnal session. It is the dialysis equivalent of hiring a wet nurse. During a regular daytime session, nothing should go wrong unless I have lined the machine carelessly with one eye on Only Connect and consequently forgotten to connect/un-clamp/tighten something pivotal. Dermot should behave, stay quiet and not do any of his ghastly alarm-yelping. At night, however, the chances of rolling over onto the tubes and occluding the blood flow, or the needles falling out and slowly bleeding to death, are much higher, what with all the concurrent sleeping I'll be doing; when this happens Dermot senses DANGER and screams at me. Undoubtedly, my first session with Carla will be seamless; I know from experience that it is only ...

The phone rings Part III: The Final Chapter

Two weeks ago today, I was in surgery receiving my new kidney. The hospital kicked me out in less than a week and over the last seven days I have divided my time between the transplant clinic and my sofa, with the occasional shuffle up to Sainsbury's to ensure the muscles in my legs don't atrophy. I've had the pleasure of a steady stream of visitors, all of whom have bought me yet more wonderful and totally unnecessary gifts – I have been royally spoilt and I am stupidly grateful to all of you. The kidney itself appears to be going great guns. I was initially attending clinic on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and was committed to doing so, but the hospital are so pleased with me they are happy to start seeing me just twice a week. The pivotal result they test for is my level of creatinine, a substance that occurs naturally in the body as a result of muscle break down. The kidney filters out creatinine through the urine, therefore if there is lots present in the blood it is...